we all go to hell
by SingleSailor
Summary: Post-s3. What could happen to Alex and how Piper could feel about it.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone. This is just something quick I wrote that came to my mind while listening to 'Mama' by My Chemical Romance. Just thought the song kind of fits Piper in general. :P I am pretty bad at writing serious stuff tho, so its not too angsty, but also not too light..**

* * *

 _Mama, we all go to hell_

 _Mama, we all go to hell..._

* * *

Piper felt like she was burning in her own personal hell.

Alex got attacked. Alex was right all along. Kubra _really_ was after her. If only she listened to her.

It all happened three days ago.

 _Piper just finished her tattoo and then went to the cafeteria. It was all empty, which was very unusal – to say at least. She wondered where all the inmates could be. She went on to her bunk and that_ _'s when she knew what's up. They were installing bunk beds._

" _Inmate, why aren't you outside_ _?" a CO asked Piper. "The instructions were clear. Everybody outside until this shit is finished."_

" _Okay." Piper said. She remembered some inmates talking about expanding the population of Litchfield._

 _She did what she was told and when she got to the yard her jaw dropped. There was a giant fucking hole in the fence. What the fuck? -_ _she thought._

 _There were no officers around whatsoever. Oh, well – might as well check it out, not that she cared much about being free at this point. She stopped halfway when she saw Lolly running towards her._

" _Chapman_ _!_ _" she hollered. "Chapman…" she finally reached her and caught her breath._

" _Hey, you. What the hell is going on_ _?" Piper pointed at the fence._

" _What-" Lolly looked over there, confused. "I don't know about that, man, but that shit is not important." she pulled Piper closer and half whispered "The fucking FBI, they're here."_

" _What?_ _" Piper asked flatly._

" _Come on. You need to come with me." Lolly dragged the blonde with her towards the greenhouse._

" _Where_ _?_ _" God, this bitch must me trippin' or something._

" _I told her this was gonna happen." Lolly mumbled as they got closer._

" _Told who_ _?_ _"_

" _Vause." She said and Piper felt a small wave of anxiety hit her._

" _What about Vause_ _?... Stop, damn it._ _" She pulled her hand out of Lolly's grasp just in front of the greenhouse._

" _I told her the toothpick guy was after her. She didn't listen and now it all went to shit."_

" _What toothpick guy_ _?_ _What happened to Alex_ _?_ _" Piper demanded._

 _Lolly took a deep breath. "See for yourself." She said and opened the door to the greenhouse._

 _For a moment there, Piper was sure Alex was dead. For some reason her mind just jumped into the most horrible conclusion._

 _She went inside and she almost forgot to breathe when she saw Alex lying on the floor, unconsious._

 _She quickly ran to her and impulsively checked her pulse._

…

 _A sigh of relief. She was alive. "Oh, thank god."_

 _Piper couldn't process what was happening. She was completely puzzled._

" _That's him." Lolly said all of sudden. "That's the FBI guy." She pointed at the also unconsious man at the corner of the greenhouse. Piper didn't even notice him at first. She got up and walked over to him._

 _She recognized him right away. "That's not the FBI. That's fucking Aydin." She stepped back and looked at Alex. She was right. Kubra really sent someone after her._

 _Piper felt a cocktail of emotions rising inside her. Mostly anxiety though. "Why are you just standing there?" she snapped at Lolly. "Get a fucking CO here, for fuck_ _'_ _s sake!" her voice broke._

" _Oh, no, no, no..." Lolly said. "They might be working for them too. We have to handle this alone."_

" _What the fuck are you talking about, you crazy bitch?_ _" Piper didn't even bother with her response. She dropped on her knees next to Alex and forgot about the rest of the world._

 _The first thing she remembers after that is officer Bailey dragging her away from Alex, who was then carried away by an ambulance._

 _There was a shit load of CO's in the greenhouse too. Lolly probably came to her good senses and called someone. Whatever, it didn't matter. Alex was gonna be okay._

 _Aydin woke up and the officers put him in cuffs. He got arrested and locked up._

…

Piper and Lolly were questioned. Everything got cleared up.

Aydin was going to kill Alex for Kubra.

Being the sadistic fuck he is, he didn't just quickly shoot her. He came at her with a rubber nightstick. He punched her a couple of times too. But Lolly walked in on them, grabbed a pot and knocked him out.

Piper couldn't believe that it actually happened.

She thanked Lolly for saving Alex's life. She might be batshit crazy, but that is the reason Alex is now alive.

* * *

Alex came back this morning.

She was okay, except for a really bruised face and a cracked radius that was put in a cast. She also had a concussion. In retrospect she was probably not that okay, but it could have been so much worse.

Taystee told Piper she was back when Piper was dilly dallying in the library.

She wanted to talk to her so badly, but for some reason she was really scared.

What would she even say? _\- Hey, Alex. Are you okay_ _? – Hell yeah, can_ _'t you see how okay I am_ _?_ Yeah, no.

She needed time to think about it. They definitely had to talk.

Piper sat down, leaning against a bookshelf.

The guilt was eating her alive. She should have listened to Alex. But instead she started this bullshit panty business _and_ fucked someone else. She didn't fuck Stella while she was still with Alex though. _Right, because that makes it okay..._ Piper thought. She probably would have fucked her sooner or later, even if Alex hadn't broken up with her...

But at least she didn't feel guilty for what she did to Stella.

 _She had it coming._

Stealing from a criminal, for god's sake? Did she really think Piper was just gonna let her off without punishment?

" _I'll pay you back, I promise."_ Stella would say, but Piper knew better. She would've never heard from her again.

Plus, she was done being everyone's punching bag. Nobody would ever respect her if she did nothing about it. And Stella stole from all of the girls involved. Big Boo, Yoga Jones and Flaca, who needs the money for her sick mom.

She did the right thing.

Still, the lack of any guilt about it scared the shit out of her. She didn't love Stella, but still, she was getting out in 2 days and Piper added 5 years in max to her sentence.

 _Why didn't she feel anything?_

She was torn between feeling extremely guilty about Alex and feeling scared for not feeling guilty about Stella.

Piper felt dizzy from the conflict inside her head.

She is going to talk to Alex. Today. After dinner. They are going to sort this all out once and for all.

* * *

 **Probably not what will happen is s4, but nevermind :P**

 **Im not even sure that COs carry pistols and nightsticks**

 **Please review:)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Guess who. :D I´m back and I hope there´s still some readers left :).**

 **Chapter 2**

* * *

Dinner time was here.

Piper was standing in the line for food. She was very nervous about her upcoming conversation with Alex, but she was determined to sort things out with her.

„Chapman, you okay?," Taystee lightly shoved Piper in the arm.

„Yeah, sure. Why?" Piper asked.

„You lookin´ like you bout´ to write some deep Shakespeare style poem or some shit. What got you so lost in thought?"

„Well," the blonde took a deep breath, „I am going to talk to Alex after dinner."

„Oh," Taystee said.

„I don´t see her anywhere." Piper looked around nervously.

"She probably chillin´ in her bunk, girl. Who would wanna walk around with _that_ face, for real."

"Yea." Piper said, realising Alex would be pretty ashamed if all the inmates and guards saw her all messed up. She looked pretty bad when she came back to Litchfield a couple months ago too, but that wasn´t nearly as bad as it is now.

Piper got her food and looked for a place to sit.

She sat opposite of Lorna who ate the vomit looking soup kind-of liquid like it was the best food in the world. _Fucking gross._

"Hey." Lorna greeted.

"Hey." Piper greeted back. She looked at the ´food´ on her tray and made a disgusted face. She was too nervous to eat anyway, so she just played with her food with a fork.

"So," the tiny girl began, "I heard Vause is back."

"Yeah."

"And how do you feel about that?"

 _How do I feel about that. What a stupid fucking question._

"I´m happy that she´s back, of course. I´ll have to talk to her."

"Hmm." Lorna nodded in understanding.

"If she _will_ talk to me, of course."

"You probably thought a lot about what you are gonna say to her, huh?"

"I did," Piper nodded, "though I couldn´t really come up with anything really.. so I´ll just let the conversation take a natural course."

Lorna narrowed her eyes. "That sure sounds like a _great_ idea," she said ironically.

"Yeah, well what would you say in my place?" Piper snapped.

"Oh, I don´t know. I mean if you are going to talk to her you should at least make the effort to come up with something."

Piper rolled her eyes.

"Okay," Lorna said calmly, "here´s what I would do," she stopped to think for a second. "You need to give her a heartfelt apology, then hug her tight and tell her how much you love her and that you´ll never leave her again."

"Yea," Piper nodded sarcastically, "so she can tell me to go fuck myself _and_ hit me so hard I´ll find myself in the ER."

" _Or_ she would fall into your arms and let the tears fall and tell you she loves you too."

"Right."

Piper reminded herself that Lorna wasn´t living in the real world, but in a fairytale. Though she wished life really was a fairytale, she knew it isn´t and in reality, it´s a pool of shit and vomit.

The blonde decided she´s gonna go to Alex´s bunk now, while everyone is at the cafeteria, so she can talk to her privately. She threw the contents of her tray to the trash and looked around. Some girl was making a scene, so there was no guard standing by the entrance. She quickly left.

She headed towards the bunks where newcomers, the one´s coming back from the SHU, etc… were.

* * *

The door to Alex´s bunk was open.

She peeked inside and what she saw made her heart shrink a little. Alex was laying on her side, facing the wall. Her arm was in a cast.

She quietly kneeled over her. The brunette was asleep.

Piper looked at her warmly. She caressed her face lightly, she didn´t want to press the bruises.

She wanted to hug her so badly. Hug her and never let her go. And tell her she will always love her and take care of her.

 _Shit._ Lorna was right…

"I´m so sorry, Alex." Piper whispered with tears in her eyes.

She felt Alex move a little.

She wasn´t able to face her.

She was gonna wake up, so Piper had to leave.

The blondie quietly walked out of the room and before she left, she turned around to see Alex once more. She was turning around. So Piper hurried and walked away to her bunk.

She laid on her bed on her side, just like Alex did.

She felt the tears inevitably streaming down her face.

Finally, all the bottled emotions came to surface.

The guilt, sadness, the fact she was a weak pussy who couldn´t even face Alex.

And the fact that she still loved her. She loved her too much. Even despite everything, despite cheating on her, leaving her when she needed her the most…

Piper realized what a horrible piece of shit she is.

For all that she did in the past months _and_ years ago.

 _I am going to make it all right_ , she thought, but she wasn´t sure she was capable.

She tried to calm down before the other inmates came back to the bunks.

But then she didn´t care and just cried herself to sleep.

* * *

 **So, I know this is really cheesy. And short.**

 **I have forgotten what happened in s3 to be honest. :D The last time I watched it was in summer 2015.**

 **Anyway, hope you like it and please review. :)**


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